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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  March 6, 2012 6:00pm-6:30pm PST

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>> march 5, 2012. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight's guest sean donovan the president's secretary of housing and urban development. that's right, people. a male secretary. oh, it's 2012. next thing you know they're going to want to be nurses. anyway, all right.
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let's get going here. we begin with a warning. i know many of our viewers have busy lives and often use the time of this program to reconnect with their significant others for laughing and a little bit of a sexy time. i know a lot of you do it while the show is on. tonight you may want to postpone those activities. because while the show will still be employing the spanish fly that is a comedyic take on political news we will be mixing it the electrodes to your genitals that is this cat. human cold shower rush limbaugh. see. as you probably heard, georgetown university law student testified before congress about how she supports the government mandate for health insurers to include contraception as part of women's preventive health care relating to her own situation utilizing birth control and a friend who needed it for medical
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condition. these words were... i will play for you. if you have one of these at home i suggest you put it on now. go ahead. >> georgetown law student sandra fluke said it's too expensive to have sex in law school without mandated insurance coverage. what does it say about the college co-ed susan fluke who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex? what does that make her? it makes her a slut, right? it makes her a prostitute. she wants to be paid to have sex. >> jon: is he done? wow! wow, that almost got on me.
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what does he mean? what is going through his fevered mind going from a young woman trying to get a private institution... you have to misunderstand so many things. he seems to believe that anyone using contraception is automatically having sex and that contraception is something a woman has to pay for every time she has sex. and that the woman is nevertheless benefiting financially from having all that dirty contraceptive dirty sex. personally i don't get too worked up about the things that rush limbaugh says because and has been for many years a terrible person. ( cheers and applause ) prior to this kurfuffle any woman concerned with issues that pertained to women's health or work is in rush's world a feni-nazi.
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that's his baseline for rhetoric. they're femni-nazis, someone who would herd you on to a train to go to an independent go girls concert. it's is it particularly biorush limbaugh? of course. that's like saying this is a particularly pungent bucket of raw sewage mixed with rotting cow guts and typhoid. he's a terrible person. the fun part is watching the republican presidential candidate conundrum. as humans you would expect them to repudiate the calling of a private citizen whose only crime is testifying before congress a slut or a prostitute. but as candidates.... >> i'm astonished that the desperation of the elite media suddenly decides that rush limbaugh is the great national crisis of this week. >> he's being absurd but that's an entertainer can be absurd. >> not the language i would have used. >> jon: i would have said
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hussy or trollop or... courage. they too have decided that limbaugh's only mistake appears to be semantics not reasoning. why do they not believe his reasoning is wrong? because they think the same thing. you want me to give you my hard-earned money so you can have sex. is that what you're asking for? good brief. >> cry me a river. now the american people are supposed to be paying for somebody to have sex. it's not a right under the constitution to have sex. >> you have to pay $3,000 to be able to have sex whenever i want it. the government should be paying that for me. >> whatever. >> jon: wait. i didn't think priests were allowed to be mean.
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what's it like going into confession with this guy? forgive me father, i have sinned. whatever! two things, all right. two things. one, this isn't about paying for women to have or not have sex. it's about an insurance mandate from the government covering contraceptive medication as part of women's overall health care. two it's not your tax money that pays for it. it won't get into your round- about argument about somehow money is taken out of your pocket to pay for georgetown's private insurance plan whose contraception coverage would bring insurance rates down. i'm not going to get into the catholic church because they don't pay taxes at all. i'm just saying to the people... cheerdz cheers i'm just saying to the people who are upset about their hard- earned tax money going to things they don't like, welcome to the (beep) club. everyone, everyone pays for (beep) they don't want to all
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the time. you know what? reimburse me for the iraq war and oil subsidies and diaphragms... ( cheers and applause ) ... and guess what then? diaphragms are on me. prophylactics. prophylactics are on the house. rent good fellows. there's one person i felt would have known better. >> students can have sex all they want but do they have a right to play the victim when they don't get all of their birth control covered? >> i didn't go before congress to testify about... and somebody needed to pay for my birth control pills. >> does this woman have a sense of entitlement that is indicative of a larger attitude in the country now if you don't have, somebody else is supposed to provide. >> meg and kelly doesn't think the government or employers
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should ever be required to subsidize someone's sex... unless.... >> the united states is the only country in the advanced world that doesn't allow... that doesn't require paid maternity. i happen to work for a nice employer. what is it about getting pregnant and carrying a baby nine months that you don't deserve a few months off so bonding and recovering can take place? >> jon: you know where that maternity leave came from, right? nine months prior? a little bottle of wine. dvd copy of the notebook. if you took maternity leave and employers were required to pay that for you, we paid for you to have sex which by the way, fine, you deserve it. you know the cream de lacreepy didn't come to end of rush's comments. >> if we are going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we
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want something for it. and i'll tell you what it is. we want you to post the videos online so we can all watch. >> jon: oh, yeah. no, no, no. you pay so you get to watch. you know what? ( cheers and applause ) let's see what your money bought. >> contraception should be covered because it can help prevent women from many different medical problems. it can help women not have painful periods that prevent them from going to work or heavy periods that can cause them to have anemia. contraception is good for everyone financially because it helps unburden an already burdened health system. it can save patients, the insurance companies and many many dollars spent unnecessarily.
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: did that work for you? does it work for you? do you need a little
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♪ ♪ and the flowers and the trees all laugh when you walk by ♪ ♪ and the neighbors' kids... what does being true to yourself have to do with being healthy? everything. ♪ but you're not ♪ you're the one ♪ one, one, one, one, one ♪ the one ♪ one, one, one, one, one ♪ the one ♪ one, one, one... ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. you probably heard president obama had a high profile
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meeting with netanyahu today. you might not have heard this though. jon oliver has more. >> reporter: for 70 years the israeli-palestinian conflict has been utterly intractable. president after president has tried and failed to propose a lasting solution. but recently the palestinians attempted a new tactic. >> palestine wants full membership for the u.n.. >> palestinians want the u.n. to recognize them as the state of palestine. >> reporter: the problem is that recognition would force palestine's neighbors to acknowledge they have palestine for a neighbor. the palestinian ambassador sat down with me to discuss this tricky situation. we began a free and open dialogue in the traditional way. i think firsts it's important that we agree to pre-conditions for this interview. >> i will be willing to hear it, yes. >> first, this entire interview must be conducted with a 1967 vocabulary. is that groovey with you?
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>> groovey? it is agreeable to me, yes. >> reporter: middle east peace, here we come. moving on with the interview. before we do, is it hot in here? >> it's fine. >> reporter: you're not hot. because i'm definitely hot. >> i am not. >> reporter: look, ambassador i think before we do anything we are going to have to come to a provisional agreement on the temperature of this room. >> if you want to lower the temperature it's fine with me. >> reporter: but who is going to control the thermostat? >> the thermostat directly should be shared by all of us. >> reporter: don't even think about devoiding the thermostat. >> we will not divide the thermostat but it should be accessed by all those who cherish it and think that it is the only place. >> reporter: after three-and-a-half hours of labor use negotiations we finally came to an agreement. we agree that at an unspecified time in the future we will announce a summit to discuss the possibility of discussing a negotiation towards an agreement on temperature.
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yes? >> yes. >> reporter: shake hands for the camera. thank you, ambassador. this is an historic day. >> yes indeed. >> reporter: you're not touching that thermostat. so progress is possible. unfortunately the palestinian- u.n. application has won little star spangled obstacle. >> the obama administration has pledged to veto any move towards statehood. >> reporter: that's right. we're vetoing an application to an organization that even has libya, syria and north korea as members. but the ambassador just doesn't get it. >> we have 131 countries recognizing us as the state of palestine. >> reporter: but how many that matter? >> all of the countries are important. we are not in the business in differentiating between small countries and big countries. one country.... >> reporter: hello, hello. >> we understand. even the one country, the united states of america, in principle they support the
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recognition of the state of palestine. they're just saying it's only a question of time. >> reporter: and that time is emphatically not now but perhaps there was one other way we could get them in. so you definitely want to become a member of the u.n.. >> yes. we don't want to be the exception to the rule. we are like the rest. >> reporter: that brings us on to the portion of this interview. who wants to be a member of the u.n.? welcome to who wants to be a member of the u.n., the game show where full membership of the united nations is on offer. i'm joined here by one of our contestants. hi, what's your name? and where are you from? >> from al design. >> reporter: i've never heard of that. question number one. what does u.n. stand for? take your time. what could it be? >> united nations.
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>> reporter: that's correct. that's correct, congratulations. that's correct. how do you think it's going so far? >> doing good. >> reporter: okay. question number two. that eagle means it's the bonus round. you come all this way. now do you take what you've won so far or do you take what's inside the mystery box? >> i take what's inside the mystery box. >> reporter: he's going to go for the mystery box. okay. good luck. what have we got? oh, i'm sorry. it's a veto from the u.s. >> if we are vetoed once, we will come back again until we prevail. >> reporter: that's the spirit. he'll come back again next time. thank you so much for playing. >> we are determined to be a member of the united nations. >> reporter: oh, that would be great. >> the daily show is not responsible for the outcome of this contest.
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>> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight is the united states secretary for housing and urban development.
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please welcome to the program secretary sean donovan. sir. ( applause ) how are you? >> doing well. good to be back in new york. >> jon: are you from new york? >> i am, i am, born and bred. >> jon: so the urban development part you are quite familiar with. >> that's right. >> jon: that is our bread and butter so to speak. >> you grow up in new york in the 1970s and you care about urban development. are you a yankees' fan? >> jon: get out of my show. >> come on. >> jon: am i a yankee fan? my father grew up in brooklyn. i am not allowed to be a yankee fan. i am a mets fan. ( cheers and applause ) and i will suffer their fate for as long as they can to suck. i will stay with them until the end. you were raised a yankees' fan? >> i was. i was at the '77 world series, the one.... >> jon: i'm familiar with the '77 world series. >> i was trying to tell an development story.
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>> jon: bring it on. there's nothing kids love more than a good urban development story. couched in world series trivia. >> you have the camera point across the outfield and he said ladies and gentlemen the bronx is burning. dozens of buildings were burning. it lost 75% of its population during the 1970s. devastation. >> jon: the whole city was... i remember the city. in the late '60s early '70s there was a gang war being fought between the police and different groups and housing and the city was broke. apparently homelessness was incredible. and then i guess in the '80s we figured out we could pult them somewhere. and they would still be homeless but we wouldn't have to know about it. >> we're doing a little better than that these days. >> jon: what's going on? what have you got planned now? >> the thing we finally figured out is that it's actually not only better for
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people but cheaper to solve homelessness than it is to put a band-aid on it because at the end of the day it costs between shelters and emergency rooms and jails it costs about $40,000 a year for a homeless person to be on the street. >> jon: isn't so much of it tied up also in the mental health system because an awful lot of people on the street are suffering from disabilities and illnesses that are untreated? isn't that part of it as well. >> what's amazing particularly on that point, a veteran is 50% more likely to be homeless than the average american. >> jon: really? >> because of ptsd and everything they go to. one in six homeless people is a veteran. >> jon: do you categorize housing and urban development into the working poor that have fallen into a difficult situation and find themselves homeless and those who need more, i guess, care from more psychiatric services? is that the split? >> we have different kinds of housing that serves all
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different populations depending on what their needs are. what's amazing is that we're actually even in this crisis we're making real progress. we lowered the number of veterans sleeping on the streets last year by 20%. >> jon: the idea of veterans sleeping on the streets is incredibly upsetting for all they've done so not be able to take care of that. >> look, even in these fiscal times we made a commitment to end veterans homelessness by 2015. president obama did that. we are on track for that. we're going to raise the amount of money we spend on homelessness by about 15% because we think we can end the crisis. >> jon: what are the homeless numbers in the current recession and how much is that working poor that have slipped under that bar? >> we've done better and better with what we call chronic homelessness. those are the folks we mostly think about. singles living on the streets. the scary thing is that in the crisis the number of families facing homelessness,. >> jon: foreclosures? >> a lot of folks who are living in rental housing who
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got displaced as well. there we've been able to make some progress. we actually lowered. we hear all these things about the stimulus bill, right? we've saved about $1.2 million people from homelessness just through the recovery act. >> jon: just the idea there's 1.2 million people that we say sdts and that's astonishing. people don't realize what's going on. what is the new... you got yourself $26 billion in i guess refinance money. what is this new settlement that came out? $26 billion mortgage settlement. does that help these people as well or people trying to save their own homes. >> it helps a bunch of renters who are living in homes that have been foreclosed. you reported about this. >> jon: i what? you mean i've made snarky jokes about that. >> you said it, not me. >> jon: all right. >> you remember when we heard these stories about people losing their homes because the bank weren't even looking.... >> jon: they didn't have the
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paper. >> you did a story about an elderly woman who was locked into her home because they thought they were locking her out of her home. they changed the locks. >> jon: that's right. >> we went and looked and found as high as 60% of foreclose foreclosures were being done wrong. we went after the banks for it and got $25 billion a few weeks ago. it's the single big oft settlement in the history of the country between states and feds. what we're going to get is actually writing down people's mortgages to keep them in their home. >> jon: here's the incredible thing that you're finding out about these people from me. >> this is how good it got here. >> jon: do you have five minutes? >> yes. >> jon: on the webb, secretary sean donovan. we'll be right back.
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